A prevention programme that teaches girls and women to recognise the difference between love and lure.
See the programmeGet in touchis a relationship that helps a person grow and become more herself.
is a relationship used as a tool. It takes three forms:
Love and lure begin in the same way: with attention, affection and promises.
The Love or Lure programme teaches the difference.
Yet the people who groom, manipulate and control them are boyfriends, friends and people they trust. Research shows how widespread this is:
The loverboy method, a romantic relationship built in order to exploit, is the most common way young women and girls are recruited for sexual exploitation in the European Union.European Commission, 2025
online grooming offences against children recorded by UK police in one year, almost double the number when the offence was introduced. 80% of the children targeted were girls.NSPCC, 2025
children worldwide was subjected to online sexual solicitation in a single year: unwanted sexual talk, questions or requests.Childlight, University of Edinburgh, 2024
of identified child trafficking victims in Romania were recruited by a friend or a partner. For girls, the peak age is 15 to 17.Justice and Care, 2025
young women aged 18 to 25 has been subjected to coercive control by a partner or former partner.Women's Aid Ireland, 2020
of young people say it is easy to spot the signs of abuse in someone else's relationship.Women's Aid Ireland, 2021
More than a third of 18 to 25 year olds recall no teaching at school about controlling behaviour.Women's Aid England, 2023
Countries have already agreed that this belongs in school. Under the Lanzarote Convention of the Council of Europe, each country commits to making sure that children in primary and secondary school learn about the risks of sexual exploitation and abuse, and about the ways to protect themselves. All 46 member states have ratified it, including the United Kingdom and every country of the European Union. The Istanbul Convention adds teaching on violence against women and on mutual respect at every level of education.Council of Europe: Lanzarote Convention, Article 6 (2007); Istanbul Convention, Article 14 (2011)
And here is the gap between that promise and the classroom. Some schools teach consent, online safety and lessons on relationships. Grooming, manipulation and coercive control are rarely covered. The pattern itself, how a groomer chooses a person, approaches her, wins her trust and takes control, is taught almost nowhere.
Love or Lure fills that gap.
They learn the seven stages of grooming and control, from the first friendly message to exploitation. Each stage is shown beside healthy behaviour.
They learn the psychology that makes lure feel like love and makes leaving so hard.
They practise seven protective habits until they can use them.
It can be delivered over two or three days, on weekdays or at weekends.
A groomer invests weeks or months in winning one person. One hour of awareness is no match for that.
In 16 hours, participants learn the whole pattern, understand why it works on them, and practise their response until it is ready to use. Each part builds on the one before. This is why the programme is always taught in full.
Girls aged 15 and over.
Women students.
Adult women of any age.